Spitting fire at your castle walls
The dragon unleashed, justice calls
Stronger than peace
Beauty or the beast
Trapped in your fortress of reason
True to a story but to the heart it`s treason
Two whole seasons
Waiting for happily ever after
Through chaos and disaster
Moments of rapture
Trying to capture
The unattainable fantasy
Frantically
Hoping romantically
For a chance to be
Your chosen one.
Faced with a frozen sun
Stay open, run, or
Come
Close
To bare my soul naked and whole on the bridge with a toll
A high price to risk losing control
Surrender and fall
But you weren`t there to catch me at all
Watching me through the crack in the wall
You claimed the order was just too tall
And so I would fall, again and again, bruising myself with false hope
With self-blame and shame as my gloomy friends to cope
When one day I realized you would never really show up
That it actually wasn`t safe to let go and trust
The little bit of light that would sometimes shine through
Just wasn`t enough to replenish and renew
The fire that I stayed up all night to maintain
Hoping you would come, maybe take a turn to sustain
The embers that would remain
From the howling storms and rain
The pain
Of feeling so alone
In a place I thought we could call home
Your need for space an excuse to postpone
Facing what I reflected in you that you
just
could not
own.
Well I’m sorry that you couldn`t choose love over fear
That your gut feeling said I just wasn`t the right mirror
That the distance became a reason to not really be here
That the resistance to diving deep became especially clear
When I gave you one last chance to decide
To embark fully or not on this wild ride
A chance to bridge the divide
And breathe into the knots inside
But you chose to say no
A place where I so often felt you go
A space you wouldn`t really let me know
And so the curtains draw, it`s the end of the show
I`m trying to walk away but you keep me on stage
The longing makes me stay but I know I need to turn the page
Your love, sweetness yesterday, now ignites anger and rage
So I storm off with a bitter taste in my mouth
Hurt, disappointed that things went south.
Maybe one day I could let you in again,
Maybe as an ally, maybe as a friend,
Maybe I’ll even forgive and be grateful in the end
But until then
This raging fire needs room to breathe
A place to express and be fully received.
At the crossroads of grief and power,
Something is dying and another wants to flower
In the sun
Of the only one
Who is always there
To catch me when I fall.